Faking It

Obligatory adult language warning for this post. Sorry. My blog, my voice HAHAHAHA!

lmaSometimes it is so hard to fake a smile. I am having one of those days when I just want everyone to fuck the hell off and leave me alone, but all the most annoying people are coming out of the woodwork today to get on my ass.

I’m having this terrible back pain across my shoulder blades, the clock change is fucking with my brain, and my commute this morning (despite leaving the house super early because hello, clock change!) took me over an hour (19 fucking miles…over an hour).

I am miserable today, in a downright foul mood. What this normally means for me is that I just want to be left alone, and if I were at home, my husband (because he’s smart and he knows me) would just stay the fuck out of my way.

BITCH WITH THE WHINY VOICE *walks past the sign that says “I’M OUT TO LUNCH! GO AWAY!”)* and spends 10 minutes telling me she wants to move her meeting with my boss up and trying to figure out when she can do it.

killedyouinmymindMe on the Inside: FUCK YOU. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. DID YOU REALLY JUST WALK RIGHT PAST THAT GIANT FUCKING SIGN WITH THE GRUMPY CAT ON IT? CAN YOU FUCKING READ?

Me on the Outside: *smile smile smile so fucking hard my face hurts* Ok, let’s see…he can see you at 2, will that work? No, that doesn’t fit into your schedule? How about 2:30? Ok, good. Oh no, now you’re going to change your mind? 3:00? Ok good. Now fuck off and go the fuck away (that part was on the inside obviously).

That doesn’t seem like much, does it? But it’s constant, all day long, not just during my lunch break. Today it’s just grating on me; the phone won’t stop ringing and people won’t stop bugging me over stupid, asinine things that they could just send me a damn email about.

snapeI don’t really even know why I’m in this mood today. Maybe it’s because this election season has brought all the stupid assholes crawling out from under their fucking rocks. Maybe it’s because I’ve been writing so much, so I’ve been in such a focused mood these last several days that I am not used to all the crap that’s going on around me. It doesn’t help that one of the docs brought her kid to work today and she’s in her mom’s office talking to a friend on her iPad and it sounds like they’re having a fucking rave in there. And our manager is in her office with the door open having a phone conference that we can all hear. That one destroys me because I’m about a millisecond away from going in there and saying, “Listen up, bitch! If you aren’t going to make use of your fucking door, then you can have my cubicle and I’ll take your office because I will most definitely make use of the fucking door!”

Sensory overload? Could be. I don’t really function very well when there are a lot of sounds and activity going on around me. Even on a good day, I can’t stand hearing three or four loud conversations going on at once; sets my nerves on edge.

Anyway, I will be glad when this fucking day is over:(

mondays

 

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