Before a dancing flame she cries
Alone again, she will survive
Her mane of gold, a shadow now
Of life and living, no longer known
C for cancer, takes its toll
Before a flame, she cries alone
Color fades, shades of grey
Will she face another day?
Regrets abound, framed in sorrow
Thinking of her lost tomorrows
Before a dancing candle flame
A young life lost, herself to blame.
Wrote this a long, long time ago, no idea what inspired it. Maybe when I was trying to quit smoking?
It’s funny how something can happen that sorta throws you for a loop. What is it that makes one person able to fight cancer and survive and another lose the battle?
Someone I knew in high school lost her battle with cancer on Saturday, and it’s sort of thrown me into a weird funk. The older I get, the more that seems to happen, which I guess is just par for the course, but man, does it suck:(
I don’t even know what to write, or how to get the thoughts out that are bouncing around in my head. Everyone we encounter in our lives touches us in some way. The people we meet along the path have shared some small part of themselves with us and have, even if just in the smallest way, shaped us into the person we’ve become.
Those people don’t always know how they’ve affected us, and maybe at the time it happens it really doesn’t seem like such a big deal. This person wasn’t a very close friend, but then when I was in high school, I had very few friends, so each one was a big deal to me. She was a couple of years ahead of me, and I looked up to her, respected her, if only for the fact that she treated me like a person, which (for me at least back then) was a very unusual thing.
Ehh, fuck it. I can’t do this right now. I’m just feeling sad and kinda blah. This year I’ll be the age my dad was when he died, and that’s a really really strange feeling. Sometimes it seems as though he just died a short time ago, and other times I feel the full 20+ years that it’s been. Really weird. I’ll try again another time.
EDIT: Huh…and then the email from the hospital’s Pastor comes out for First Monday (every month they hold a spiritual remembrance service in the hospital chapel) with the most perfect quote:
At times our own light goes out and
is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep
gratitude of those who have
Lighted the flame within us.